She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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