i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
This is classic penis vs brain.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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