There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
