So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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