I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
