they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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