Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
