So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
