dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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