let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
