If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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