She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
