Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
