He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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