hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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