My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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