It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize