I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
