My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
