I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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