I hope mine doesn't look like that
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
