East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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