It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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