i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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