porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
