Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
