i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Please don't give away my fajitas
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
