Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
