is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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