i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
