He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
where does the pee come out of this thing
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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