found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
