Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
