Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
