His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
