Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Gay?
German.
Pity.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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