Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We need to get me chipped asap
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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