We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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