And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We have started to decorate penises.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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