I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
