You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
