my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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