Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
even my farts smell like vagina
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
