Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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