I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
