Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
