wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
