Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
