Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
