Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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