jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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