She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
