Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I enjoy the company of your penis
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
