I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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