She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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