sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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