oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
