I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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