What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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